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[When you're dead and set to spend the rest of eternity in a dreambubble, there is a lot of downtime, which might explain why the Handmaid is pouring tea for the Psiioniic right now. Scratch taught her a lot of things like this, things that she never used or paid attention to, much to his chagrin. Generally, that meant that she wouldn't be doing this at all, just out of principle, but none of that really seems to matter anymore. And anyway, the Psiioniic was probably the one to ask for tea in the first place. She settles down next to him, handing him a mug.]

There.

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[That's about the same way he feels. He really needs to get her on his lap right now, so they don't have to part at all. Suddenly contact is like air again, and he brings up a hand to stroke her hair, breaking the kiss for a second.]

Can we...

[He doesn't even know what he was going to say. And it's not because he's forgetful, it's just him being stupid and not sure where else to go with that sentence.]

[She blinks up at him, bewildered and a little breathless. Did she do something wrong?]

What?

Thomewhere thofter?

[No offense but these chairs suck. He has absolutely no ass, and wood chairs are uncomfortable, okay?]

Oh.

[She has no idea where this is going, or if she should even be doing this, but she decides she just doesn't care anymore. So she untangles herself from him and stands up, reaching for his hand. A couch works, right?]

[A couch works. He pushes himself to his feet (something that actually takes more effort than one would think), and takes her hand.]

[So she tugs him over gently, fidgeting slightly as she sits down and waits for him to follow.]

[He follows, of course. He feels right now like he'd follow her anywhere. He's always been a follower, never a leader.

The Helmsman sits next to her, feet crossed over each other and nervously stepping on his own foot, like he forgot they were making out just seconds ago.]

You're... Okay with thith, right? I'm thorry, I didn't athk firtht...

[She slips her other hand into his, relaxing again when she realizes that he's nervous, too. In fact, he even gets the smallest of smiles from her. It probably looks odd on her face.]

I would have shoved you off if I wasn't.

[It doesn't look odd at all. If he was less fidgety, he'd tell her it looked nice to see her smile.]

Alright. ... Okay.

[... He scooches toward her again, just a little. He moves closer until his legs are underneath him on the couch, and he's facing the Handmaid completely.]

You... can shove me again, if I do thomething wrong.

Okay.

[She drops his hands, looping her arms around his waist and pulling herself closer so that she can press her lips against his again. Now that she's sure nothing terrible is going to happen, she's much calmer.]

[The calmness about her is obvious. She's almost like a purrbeast sometimes, wearing her emotions so quietly but so obviously. He presses his lips back against his, placing his hands on her hips, and oh so slightly.... sliding them up and down. Slowly. Not straying too far to her breasts, nor to her ass. Even if. Maybe he kind of wants to. Just a little.]

[Her heart skips a beat when he touches her, but it seems like the longer they keep at this, the less nerve wracking it gets. She lets out a soft, contented noise, trying to let him know that she really doesn't mind without actually coming out and saying it, and deepens the kiss almost experimentally. She's praying he won't pull away.]

[She's going to have to straight up tell him if she wants him to go anywhere with her. He won't risk upsetting her by doing something wrong. He's already done so many things wrong, even when he didn't know he was doing something wrong, he'd just be punished for it-- so it's better off if he did nothing. That's what he's learned. Do nothing, and nothing will go wrong.

Sorry Handmaid, you're going to have to do some direction until he gets on his feet.]

[Give her a second, she's trying to build up the courage. For now she lets her fingertips trail down his spine and presses closer, trying to shove the last few panicked thoughts that are making her so hesitant out of her head. What if she goes too far and scares him off? Should she even be doing this at all?]

[He notices her hesitation, but shivers in response to her fingertips on his spine. God, that feels good. He presses his chest against hers and just barely manages to coherently say,]

Pleathe, do that...

[That tone in his voice makes her breathing hitch, and she pulls herself forward into his lap. She buries her face in the curve of his neck, fingers tracing the line of his vertebrae upward this time.]

[He quietly groans, hunching his shoulders as she reaches the top of his spine and wow that was a lot of cracking sounds. Yeah, stayin in the same position for thousands of years wasn't really good on his back, but being touched lightly there actually felt good.]

[That... Was pretty loud, yup. But hearing him make a sound like that and knowing she was the cause of it sends a shiver up her spine. She pulls away slightly, nuzzling shyly against his cheek and kneading at the knotted muscles of his back.]

[The groaning? Gets quite a bit louder and more pleasure-filled. Handmaid has no idea how good that feels to him right now, but he's practically melting in her hands, weakly gripping at the fabric of her dress.]

[She decides that this is her absolute favorite sound in the whole world, and it sends an odd thrill through her. It also gives her the courage to slip her hands under his shirt, tracing the curves of his back as she kisses the soft skin of his neck.]

[There's scars there, far too many to count from touch alone. He flinches again at the touch and sucks in a bit of air.]

I'm thorry, thorry...

[The uneven texture of his skin just makes her feel another surge of pity, but she pulls her hands away, resting them on his chest instead. She scoots back just enough to rest her forehead against his.]

It's fine.

[She wonders if she should get off of his lap, too.]

Are you... [She pauses, shifting slightly. She is so not used to being this open with anyone.] Do you want to stop?

...

[He doesn't know. Maybe...]

I'll be okay. I jutht... want to keep my clothesth on.

...I'm sorry.

[Wow. She is really, really good at messing things up, isn't she? She nods, mentally berating herself for pushing so far. She hadn't even been heading in that direction. Had she?

...Okay. Maybe she had been, subconsciously.

So she sneaks another kiss, but making him uncomfortable means she's a bundle of nerves again, so it's more of a peck this time than anything else.]

[A peck is okay. He can... handle that. He's so pathetic, and not in the good way. He can't even do something like this for someone, he's a freak and not worth anyone's time.]

No, it'th not you...

[It's him, it's all him.]

It's me.

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LMAO THIS STRAYED FROM FLUFF VERY QUICKLY

HONESTLY I FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY FLUFF

LMAO WHATEVER GO WITH THE FLOW

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