Entry tags:
(no subject)
[The Handmaid had finally achieved her only goal after millenia--she'd finished her job ane been released from her contract, and the Condesce had killed her. She'd thought it would be a relief. She hadn't been expecting an afterlife, but even nothing would have been better than serving Lord English.
Unfortunately, nothing had changed. In fact, she didn't even know she was dead. Her life just replayed over and over and over again, and she still longed for death. She listened to Doc Scratch ramble on about the other ancestors, repeating himself until she had the stories memorized and they became mind numbing. Of course, when she didn't listen carefully enough, or Doc Scratch just thought she wasn't, he would punish her. His favorite trick was teleporting her onto the Condesce's ship until the lack of air made her pass out. Unfortunately, immortality didn't mean that she was immune to the adverse affects of his punishments, just that she couldn't die from them.
Lord English was much less elegant, and much harder to please. If he wanted her unconscious, he would simply slam her against a wall and choke her until her head swam and her lungs screamed and her only thought was of air. He wasn't nearly as picky about leaving marks, either, but after centuries of such treatment, she'd learned that allowing it and fighting back as little as possible often made him relent more quickly.
But the worst was when she was trapped in Doc Scratch's mansion, when Lord English had no use for her at the moment. She would pace, impatient, listening to the little puppet ramble on and on and critique her manners and patronize her endlessly. Unlike in her childhood, she no longer shows her rage so openly--there's no point. But in the mansion, all alone, with Lord English and Doc Scratch both off doing something assuredly stupid, she paces the rooms and daydreams about ripping the entire place apart.]
Unfortunately, nothing had changed. In fact, she didn't even know she was dead. Her life just replayed over and over and over again, and she still longed for death. She listened to Doc Scratch ramble on about the other ancestors, repeating himself until she had the stories memorized and they became mind numbing. Of course, when she didn't listen carefully enough, or Doc Scratch just thought she wasn't, he would punish her. His favorite trick was teleporting her onto the Condesce's ship until the lack of air made her pass out. Unfortunately, immortality didn't mean that she was immune to the adverse affects of his punishments, just that she couldn't die from them.
Lord English was much less elegant, and much harder to please. If he wanted her unconscious, he would simply slam her against a wall and choke her until her head swam and her lungs screamed and her only thought was of air. He wasn't nearly as picky about leaving marks, either, but after centuries of such treatment, she'd learned that allowing it and fighting back as little as possible often made him relent more quickly.
But the worst was when she was trapped in Doc Scratch's mansion, when Lord English had no use for her at the moment. She would pace, impatient, listening to the little puppet ramble on and on and critique her manners and patronize her endlessly. Unlike in her childhood, she no longer shows her rage so openly--there's no point. But in the mansion, all alone, with Lord English and Doc Scratch both off doing something assuredly stupid, she paces the rooms and daydreams about ripping the entire place apart.]
no subject
...What are you talking about?
no subject
[Nnnnnoooooo, he doesn't want to have to say this to her. He almost can't make himself do it, the way his throat closes for a long, long moment. But then he finally does reach up and slip a hand around her neck, trying to draw her down to him]
You're dead, Coleta. You've finally... [Hnnngh] This is a dream.
no subject
...That makes no sense.
[Actually, it does in a sort of odd way that she doesn't want to think about.]
no subject
It does. I know it's hard. It was hard when I had to do it. But this isn't real. This mansion. You've-- [Little distressed sound, as he thinks back on... all the things he's seen here. All the ways he's seen her hurt. He almost loses his voice again, but...] It's a memory. You're reliving it. Have been... reliving it for... so long. [Please believe him...]
no subject
But of course, the evidence to the contrary is overwhelming. Things have seemed just slightly off before, and he's here, as young as when she first met him somehow.
She lets out another shaky breath, letting her hand fall to tangle in his shirt.]
...How is that possible?
no subject
I don't know. But it's the truth. [...] You can leave whenever you want, Coleta.
no subject
It's true. A lot of things haven't been right. It does feel as though she's replaying events over and over again rather than experiencing them for the first time, and really, it's the only explanation for why he's here right now. And she has heard Doc Scratch mention offhand some sort of place the deceased go after their dreamselves are gone, but she's always assumed that was for Sgrub players only.
She bites her lip, pulling her head away from his just enough to meet his eyes. Her voice is quiet, hopeful but a little frightened, too.]
Show me.
no subject
Of course. [He will take her anywhere to be honest, but first he'll start with away from this god damn mansion, drawing her to him and leading them towards the door]
no subject
no subject
You can go anywhere you want now, Coleta. You need only believe it. [Where would you like to be, my dear?]
no subject
What do I do?
no subject
[Reassuring smile!!! Although it becomes teasing pretty quickly as he remembers]
Uh... maybe you ought, to tell me where it is, also? So that we do not... lose each other again. [Squeezes her hand and the reassuring-ness is back! He is not going to think about how long it's been nor how hard his heart would break if they were separated again. The important thing here is her finally gaining her own freedom]
no subject
Do you remember that... Field by the river you used to camp in?
[It's vague--she can picture it in her mind, but can't put a name to it.]
no subject
Yes. I think so.
no subject
[She says it with the air of someone not quite believing she'll ever get what she wants.]
no subject
[Teasing!!! It's obvious he believes in her completely and absolutely, but he has also set this out as a challenge. It's important to him that she does this on her own...!]
no subject
no subject
[Everything falls into place sort of strangely. First there's the trees, then the grass, then the sky. Then the sound of the river filters in, and the night wind starts blowing and the grass gains texture and feel. There is very little doubt this is a dream as everything slowly slowly settles into place]
no subject
no subject
[Eventually, he does murmur: ]
We're here. [But he won't let her go until she moves to look around]
no subject
The mansion is gone. And she doesn't care at all if it's a dream, because at least it's not Scratch's terrible mansion. And if he's right, they can't reach her here. Look! There's actually a very slight smile on her face.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
I missed you.
no subject
I missed you, too.
[That seems so inadequate, compared to the way she felt, but she's never been good with words.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)