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[The Handmaid had finally achieved her only goal after millenia--she'd finished her job ane been released from her contract, and the Condesce had killed her. She'd thought it would be a relief. She hadn't been expecting an afterlife, but even nothing would have been better than serving Lord English.

Unfortunately, nothing had changed. In fact, she didn't even know she was dead. Her life just replayed over and over and over again, and she still longed for death. She listened to Doc Scratch ramble on about the other ancestors, repeating himself until she had the stories memorized and they became mind numbing. Of course, when she didn't listen carefully enough, or Doc Scratch just thought she wasn't, he would punish her. His favorite trick was teleporting her onto the Condesce's ship until the lack of air made her pass out. Unfortunately, immortality didn't mean that she was immune to the adverse affects of his punishments, just that she couldn't die from them.

Lord English was much less elegant, and much harder to please. If he wanted her unconscious, he would simply slam her against a wall and choke her until her head swam and her lungs screamed and her only thought was of air. He wasn't nearly as picky about leaving marks, either, but after centuries of such treatment, she'd learned that allowing it and fighting back as little as possible often made him relent more quickly.

But the worst was when she was trapped in Doc Scratch's mansion, when Lord English had no use for her at the moment. She would pace, impatient, listening to the little puppet ramble on and on and critique her manners and patronize her endlessly. Unlike in her childhood, she no longer shows her rage so openly--there's no point. But in the mansion, all alone, with Lord English and Doc Scratch both off doing something assuredly stupid, she paces the rooms and daydreams about ripping the entire place apart.]

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[Man, he's a troll, he finds this sexy??? And okay, for all his resolve to keep going, once she starts shaking like that he is more or less done. A few longer strokes with his hips and he just kinda falls apart, groaning against her chest, still rocking against her and moving his hand along her bulge]

[She lets out a really embarrassing whimper, tightening her grip on him. She's taking in quick, deep breathes, trying to get a handle on herself but it's not really working!]

[lksjdf nah he enjoys the whimper quite a lot, sighing pleased and pressing his forehead against her as he finally hits his peak and his body just... sorta refuses to keep moving for a bit except to shake itself out in her arms]

[It takes a few minutes for her to stop trembling and the pleasant haze in her head to finally clear. And suddenly she's shy again, kissing his cheek and hiding her face in his shoulder.]

[...heh. Well the shyness makes him laugh a little and he leans back as best he can, pressing his cheek against her... horn really. And his hand finally leaves her bulge, going to the grass to try to support himself. Which is hard when he feels all relaxed and shit, but he doesn't want to smoosh her with his body so lasjdlfkjklj]

[She is totally okay with being smooshed at the moment, actually! And she should probably... Say something, but she's pretty sure there's no way she can articulate how much she cares about him, so she keeps her mouth shut.]

[...well. He doesn't realize she'd be okay with it so instead he is going to make the sort of monumental effort of shifting his body away from her a little before he just kinda... lays down. Half on her and half on the ground lksdfjl Just fffff sighing happily though. Wheeze he feels really good, oh no]

[Words are just... not even a thing he's thinking about right now. He couldn't come up with anything meaningful anyway, so he's rather just stay in her presence for awhile instead of trying to come up with something]

[Oh she is okay with that. She strokes his hair absentmindedly, letting out a surprisingly contented sound, considering the fact that it's... You know. The Handmaid. She's still half expecting to find out none of this is real, though.]

[Oh good... yes... 8> He enjoys that sound quite a lot!! Possibly even more so then the whimper because it's just... not a sound she makes really. He rather hopes he can get it out of her more often now that they have... well... forever really]

[He lets his claws trail across her side, tapping a little rhythm against her ribs and sighing happily again]

[NO THAT TICKLES and she squirms a little, letting out an irritated little huff. She's tired and she just wants to cuddle why is he ruining it!!!]

[AHAHA chuckles!! He's just teasing okay gosh Handmaid gosh, but alright he'll stop at least, settling his hand against her instead and nuzzling her shoulder]

[Pffft he is never allowed to tease her! She stays silent for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of being all warm and safe and snuggled up against him. When she finally does speak up, it's very quietly, as though she's afraid of ruining something.]

How long were you in there?

[Waiting for her in Scratch's mansion, she means.]

In...? [It takes him a moment, pleasure hazed pan moving quite a lot slower then normal]

[And then... oh. In that place. He has to... think about this for a good long minute here, trying to decide between the truth or trying not to ruin everything. His voice is... quite soft when he finally asks in return: ]

Which time?

[She frowns, shifting underneath him a bit.]

There was more than one time?

[Closes his eyes for a moment, and then just... presses closer to her, like if he loses touch with her at all he'll lose her again]

Yes. [There were, in fact, more times then he could count]

[Ugh, god, that makes her feel absolutely terrible. She doesn't reply right away, just closes her eyes and buries her face in the crook of his neck for a moment.]

I'm sorry.

Wasn't your fault...

[...he says this quite sadly though! There were things he saw there that... he never wanted to see. That he wishes he could forget. He keeps feeling like he should've been able to wake her up sooner, saved her from it at least in the afterlife, but... he just couldn't...]

[Starts running his fingers through her hair, trying to get himself off that train of thought]

[She catches that tone in his voice, and it just makes her feel worse. And a little embarrassed, honestly. She's shakes her head, pulling away just a little.]

You shouldn't have seen it.

[Nope! Follows after her. She can't pull away now. After all of this? Not now...]

It's. Fine. I'm glad I know...

[Stop let her be emotionally stupid!!!!]

How much did you see?

[Everything, probably, but she doesn't really want to hear that.]

U-um...

[...wow it's been awhile since he stuttered like that. Sighs a little, but stays close]

All of it, I think. [No, he knows, but trying to sound unsure might soften the blow]

[It... Doesn't really help. She caught that little stutter and she knows what he's doing. She doesn't get it, though, and she sort of lets her hands drop, trying to curl in on herself even though she can't considering the way he's holding her. Her voice is very, very quiet.]

You should hate me.

No. [The answer is immediate and firm. No. He will not and honestly cannot hate her, and this is only more true after seeing everything that happened to her]

[He takes a deep breath before he speaks again, pressing his lips against her bare shoulder for a moment. This? It hurts to say this, but he has to]

You had no choice.

[She flinches at the contact, but at least she's not moving away? She's not going to argue the choice thing, at least--Scratch beat the fate thing into her pretty soundly--but it doesn't seem to convince her.]

That doesn't change anything.

Would you have done any of it if the puppet or his master hadn't made you?

[It changes everything, Coleta, please don't do this]